I’ll do another post soon on new themes / ideas. Plus info on show’s i’ve seen.
For now, I’d just like to update. It’s been a really challenging quarter. Largely in the sense of defining my own work schedule intelligently (which I’ve been failing at) and balancing reading theory and producing work (also failing at).
My major grievance this quarter is that I’ve been doing too much reading and not enough making. In my seminar with N.K. Hayles, who is brilliant, the weekly reading list is usually astronomical (by my slow-reader standards). The class is full of english/literature phD candidates. They’re all really intelligent and make great contributions in class. But I’ll be damned if I don’t feel like the only one there not drinking the kool-ade. Some theory I just don’t buy. And trying to wrap my mind around the rest is leaving me mentally exhausted on a daily basis: completely the wrong state of mind to do some serious art making. I’m glad i’m being exposed to all these new writers, but it’s just so challenging for me.
Now I understand there should be a nice healthy balance between studying and making; I support that claim 100% I’m just feeling that the scales are tipping way towards the theory end this quarter. And what I said about my brain shutting down every evening is really leaving me bummed out.
Last weekend, I had a little mini-crisis when I realized 4 or 5 weeks have gone by and I haven’t produced anything but screen tests and drawings. But since then, i’ve turned my state of mind around and started re-considering my methodology. “Playing around” with physics engines and game engines haven’t yielded any creative results, (as per my current interest in games and machines). My plan was to start producing some non-functional abstract games based on a couple of themes…but the software development has had such a high learning curve that all my ideas have died in the initial phase. I’m thinking now i’d like to do a larger installation and break away from screen-based things; unless i’m going to do all-out video. I’m just not a programmer… I can learn what I need when necessary but I can’t be creative with code when I’ve got no initial concept. So that’s that. Time to start over.
TAing for Rebeca Mendez has been a treat. I’m learning loads about typography and motion graphics just by working with the students and her and being involved in critiques. I’ve cultivated a high respect for design. Occasionally she can’t make it and i’ve had to teach several classes completely on my own. This was frightening at first but i’m definitely more used to it now. I love curating screenings for the students and showing them influential work that they’ve never seen before. I can feel my CMU education oozing through!
That’s all for now. Please check in later for more updates and photos. The attitude turn around has been pretty successful so far and I can foresee starting on some new project very soon. I even started going back to the gym and trying to get excercise…
Check my del.icio.us for links and interest, as well as my flickr for new photos. I also started making some video playlists on youtube. I think i’m youtube.com/mkontopo or something…
